Written by the Almighty DM

Kanye rushes forward and holds the chain linking the two golems together to keep them in place as Elgard sends an explosive WALL OF FIRE down through the hallway. Yaka is in Elgard’s face saying “WHY WOULD YOU CAST THAT? THAT’S A TERRIBLE SPELL! WHAT KIND OF 3RD RATE WIZARD ARE YOU?” Sophitia calls down holy fire on the golems.

Zyldi turns into a giant bear and runs back into Yaka’s chamber to deal with the tomb dwarves there. Nor vaults over Zyldi and brings his sword down into one of the dwarves.

Out on the balcony two more dwarves run to the hallway to further ambush the party. As the lead dwarf is trying to line up a crossbow shot, he takes an axe to the back and is pushed into the wall of fire by his companion. This rogue dwarf throws his dead ally off his axe, nods to the party, sits down and lights up his pipe. 

The golems begin pummeling Kanye and trying to move out of the fiery hallway, but Kanye holds them in place with his great Goliath strength. “THIS BARBARIAN IS ON FIRE! HE’S ALL THE RAGE!!!!” shouts Yaka. The fire is causing the golems to go berserk, giving Sophitia and Elgard easy openings for their spells.

Zyldi swipes and bites at the dwarves, but sustains too many hits and drops out of bear form. Nor is there to keep her from getting overwhelmed during the assault. Zyldi grips her staff and sends out a booming THUNDERWAVE, killing one of the dwarves and knocking the other down. Nor quickly finishes off the remaining undead guardians. 

Kanye is able to keep the golems from moving out of the fire, and they are overcome by the magical damage they’ve taken. Yaka tells the party “THERES NO WAY YOU’RE GOING TO SURVIVE IN HERE! YOU’RE TERRIBLE! HOW DID YOU GET THIS FAR!” 

Sophitia approaches the remaining Undead Tomb Dwarf Guardian who remains seated on the balcony smoking his pipe. “Aye, that was a good bit o’ fightin ya did there!” Sophitia replies “Are you….friendly?” The grizzled old dwarf rises to his feet and says “Ye killed my boss and I’m tired of livin’ in this dusty tomb, ready for some adventure. They’ve got me cooped up makin’ that big stained glass window over an’ over. Every group of adventurers that comes in here, first thing they do is smash mah window! I’m ready for a change. The name’s Thas. Thas Wight” [title redacted] gains another improbable ally!

“The Health coverage was really overrated”

Kanye, tired of not being able to damage these golems directly, turns to the Dao in the bottle. “Can I have your magic hammer for your freedom?”

“You wish to change the deal?” She replies. “This hammer is far too great for any mortal like you to wield. It would destroy you!” Nor chimes in “I think we need to use her to get rid of Yaka instead!” 

After some negotiating with Keshma, it is decided that instead of helping the party 3 times in combat for her freedom, she will give Kanye her hammer and rid the party of Yaka’s curse. 

Kanye uncorks the bottle and the air swirls and the Dao forms before the party. She towers over Kanye as she reaches her hand out and places it on his chest. The giant hammer on her back dissolves and energy flows into Kanye, causing dark purple tattoos to form on his chest, going down his arms and ending in his hands. She removes her hand and Kanye falls to his knees. He doesn’t know what happened, but something is different.

“That was my favorite hammer!”

She turns to Yaka and places her hand on the skull. After a moment, she turns her head up and screams “WHAT! NO! AAAGGHGHHHHH! I hate you all.” She looks at the party with deep resentment, then holds up her hand as precious gemstones begin to pour out. Yaka begins to greedily devour the stones as Keshma looks on with disgust. “This is great wealth out of my own personal stores! You mortals don’t know what you have cost me!” 

After about 10,000 gold worth of gems have been devoured by the skull, Yaka lazily floats up and says “OH WOW, I THINK I NEED TO TAKE A NAP! SMELL YA LATER!”. Yaka returns to his pedestal and the curse of the Golden Skull is lifted from Elgard. 

Having fulfilled her obligations, Keshma the Dao PLANE SHIFTS away from the party. 

With Thas as their guide [title redacted] rest in the room with the lever in it. They pull the lever to watch the horrible trap go off in the room below: the room rotates like a clothes dryer, and the walls shoot out poison gas, spikes, and fire. Looks like a complete death trap, and the party is grateful to have disarmed it. 

During their rest [title redacted] learn that the 6th floor of the dungeon is where the Hags live. There are 5 skeleton keys needed to access this room, one key from each floor. The party has the 2nd floor key (square), and decide that they should search the underground river on the first floor for the level one key.

Awakening from his long rest, Kanye discovers he can now summon a Soulbound Earth Hammer that deals full damage to objects and constructs!

Returning to the underground river access grate, Thas pauses a moment to look at the current state of the smashed stained glass window. He looks down and shakes his head, and the party enters the river and heads north.

After winding through this cramped waterway they do come upon a lone skeleton wandering around. They destroy him and get his skull – it is the Triangle Key! They now have 2 of the 5 keys needed. 

Going forward they find the secret entrance to Moa’s tomb. Continuing on the river ends in a waterfall that goes down deep into the darkness below. On the other side of this chasm is a small ledge with a treasure chest perched upon it. They tie a rope around Thas’ waist, anchor that to the Immovable Rod, and throw him across. 

Thas touches the chest and it bites him and causes acid damage: the chest is a Mimic! The Mimic lives a very short life after this attack, and once it is destroyed the party pulls Thas back over. There was no treasure on the ledge, only disappointment. 

They return to the river entrance and plan their next move.

Written by the Amighty DM

After resting up in Nangnang’s tomb it is time to explore level 2 further. Off the Grand Balcony is another hallway that leads to a 4 way intersection. The halls to the left and right curve upward and out of sight, and there is a corpse of a half-human half-goat hybrid halfway up the ring to the left. 

Searching the body reveals it to be Devlin Bashir, the last surviving member of the Company of the Yellow Banner. A letter on his body describes that the rest of his party was killed by various traps and monsters in the tomb. He warns anyone who finds him not to trust Acererak, because while his hints may help you in the short term, just being in the Tomb is your doom. He has a cursed Staff of Striking that turns you into a goat if you touch it, and a magic ink pot that never runs dry. 

The hallway continues into another tomb room. The Kanye points out a giant stone that could fall and block the exit to this room. Inside this large chamber magical sunlight falls from the arched ceiling onto a gilded sarcophagus in the center of the room, while 4 huge gargoyle faces look on from the walls. Moa informs Zyldi that the markings in this tomb do not match any of the Nine Gods. Remembering part of Acererak’s warning “The Dead Abhor Sunlight”, Zyldi casts Dispel Magic on the sunlight, casting the chamber into darkness. 

Kanye and Zyldi open the lid, and inside is a wooden plaque that reads “Drown Your Sorrows”. Nothing happens. Inspecting the open mouths of the gargoyle faces shows a big valve. Prying one of them open causes an enormous amount of wine to flow out of the mouth, and they are unable to stop it. The wine keeps flowing and flowing, but since a trap has not been triggered, it just flows harmlessly out of the room. Sensing that dispelling the magic saved them from a deadly trap, [title redacted] move back to the hallway to explore the slanted hallway. 

Nor and Kanye do not fall from walking up this curved hall, and are able to walk all the way over the hall like a ring. However, when they come out the other side none of the rest of the party are there, though the rest of the tomb looks the same. They go back the way they came and get the rest of the group.

After going through the ring and going back into the “False Tomb”, Zyldi sees a hunched figure watching them from the Grand Balcony. It is the hag from the forest! Her eyes glimmer from the gold coins covering them, and she cackles and jumps away down into the lower levels as Zyldi runs forward to attack. Spooked by this encounter, she encourages the party to return through the ring back to reality. 

“I’m SO glad you’re here!”

The final unexplored room is a small chamber with a green devil face carved into he floor. Its mouth is open and there is magical darkness within, from which agonized screams can be heard. The party nopes out of this room and takes the service staircase down to the 3rd level. 

The stairs spit out into a small room where a Golem stands still with its hand on a lever, looking down into a lower room. The party kills the golem and goes through a narrow access corridor around to another small room. This room has a pedestal holding a golden skull across from a staircase leading up to a secret door. 

“C’mon, who WOULDN’T touch this skull?

Elgard inspects the golden skull and taps it cautiously with his staff. The eyes light up and a loud voice echoes in the chamber “HEELLLLOOOOO! I’M YAKA!! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!?” The skull floats up around Elgard’s head. “Uhhhh…..I’m….uhh…Robert” ‘ROBERT? THAT’S A STUPID NAME!””Uh, well, what are you?””I WAS THE GREATEST ENTERTAINER IN THE WORLD! I ENTERTAINED THE ROYAL FAMILY OF OMU AND I’M HERE TO ENTERTAIN YOU WITH MY EXCELLENT JOKES! I ALSO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS DUNGEON!”

The party quickly finds that Yaka is immune to damage and spells, and will not leave Elgard’s side. They emerge into a hallway: ahead is a large open chamber, to the left is a closed room, and down the hall to the right are two Plated Golems joined together with a chain. The party decides to avoid the Golems, but Yaka loudly tells them “THIS IS A CLASSIC TRICK! THESE BIG BOYS ARE JUST EMPTY SUITS OF ARMOR FILLED WITH TREASURE! IT’S HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT! JUST PULL THE CHAIN!” His voice echoes off the walls of the whole dungeon, but [title redacted] decide that this is a good way to test if Yaka is truthful. Kanye touches the chain and the two Golems spring to life and attack while Yaka cackles loudly! Crossbow bolts fly out of the darkness behind and in front of them as a Tomb Dwarf ambush sets off! The battle begins as Yaka laughs at the party and tries to mess up Elgard’s spells.